Once a victim…….

And so it continues, once a victim always a victim.

I guess this time I actually have a choice to stand up for myself, I am no longer a powerless 5 year old. But I still feel that way.

If I could believe, really believe the things that others do, believe that I am a good person, then maybe I could stand up for myself.

I have to do something, otherwise this will keep happening. I’m tired of just surviving, just managing.

I don’t want to be a victim anymore.

But right now I am too frightened to stand up for myself.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Once a victim…….

  1. bipolarwhisper says:

    Take a deep breath, slowly exhale and say “I am a Survivor and I refuse to let this control my life”

    Things get better, there will be good days and bad days, but one day the good will out weigh the bad. 🙂

  2. Cat says:

    When we have been a victim at such a young age, I think our emotions go into overdrive whenever something happens that might make us feel the victim again. Not only are we dealing with the feelings that are coming up in the present moment, we are also dealing with the visual/emotional flashbacks from childhood.
    I agree with the above comment, ‘it does get better in time, keep working at it

  3. Ben Naga says:

    Thinking of you and sending you wishes of strength and courage.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s