I’m not ready for this. Everything I thought is wrong – a career built on a belief that is wrong, a childhood misunderstood. I’m not ready for this it hurts too much.
I need it to have been my fault for it to have been me that is wrong, out of place, for it to be me that didn’t fit. I need that to be true. I’ve believed it for so long. Built my life and my career on it.
I’m not ready for this – for her to have been the crazy one, alcoholic yes, I can handle that she was that, who wouldn’t need something to take the edge of such a flawed child?
I’m not ready to feel this, this helplessness, this anger, this betrayal and sadness. Such deep, deep sadness.
I’m not ready – please make it go away…..