It’s been a while since I posted. My new job has changed things. Finally realising that much of what added to my stress and anxiety was not about me. In my new job I can be me and it’s welcomed. It’s a real joy to find that who I am is OK.

It’s changed therapy too, more time to think about the things from before, from when I was small. More energy to understand how things impacted on me, to begin to acknowledge the anger and sadness I feel deep inside.

I’m not ready to accept that there wasn’t something I could have done to change the things that happened. I’m not ready to accept that I’m not crazy.

My therapist suggested I try less diagnosis and more formulation in understanding myself, he may be right – in my work I avoid diagnosis with my clients, but for me it is different and it will always be that way until I understand what I should have done to fix things, to stop what happened, to make it so she would love me. I need to know what it is in me that is wrong, because then it will all make sense, and maybe it’s not to late to fix it………


One thought on “Formulations……

  1. Ben Naga says:

    I am glad to read that things are going better for you.

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