Freddie is always right.

I find myself wondering how I even got out of bed this morning, it’s just too horrid, though actually I couldn’t say what exactly it is that is ‘too horrid’ at the moment. Feelings are messy things, I don’t trust them, they sneak up on you when you least expect it, and just at the moment I’m mired in a confusing mass of feelings that leave me feeling stupid and more like a crazy person that usual.

Thing is, I’m not stupid, but I am lost at the moment, I don’t know what is right, what is true and I just can’t get my head around wtf is going on.

I feel like I am being stalked by a horrible monster, but every time I turn around it hides, so I can’t see what it is. If I could just understand it I could deal with it, fix it, or make it go away, but it’s hidden from me, so I can’t be sure of anything….

I know it’s bad just now as I have that overwhelming urge to run away, to just disappear, become invisible, to be anonymous, to have nothing to do with anyone and to mean nothing to anyone.

I guess the song on the radio right now sums it up – you are of course, right Freddie – The Show Must Go On…….


8 thoughts on “Freddie is always right.

  1. Sorry things are so tough now…..wishing you better days ahead.

  2. words4jp says:

    i would like to ditto Janet’s comment. xxxx

  3. Cat says:

    It’s a real bummer when we feel like this. I try to remind myself that it will eventually pass and not to worry about my lack of motivation. I hope things improve for you soon

  4. Borderlion says:

    I have similar feelings – I don’t know why I feel horrible, just that things are bad and I can’t get relief from talking to people because I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. Hope you feel better soon.

    • marro says:

      Thanks Borderlion, still not feeling great, this ones here for the long haul I think 😦 I can’t describe how it feels either, it’s so frustrating. Take care.

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