This article in Psychology Tomorrow got me thinking:
My life has been a series of narratives, each one self contained, separate, and perhaps this explains the challenges I have with remembering. I love the description in this article of each part of life having it’s own arc, it’s own characters that get left behind.
But then there are some who have endured, and I wonder about them, across one or more arc’s, my sister, and a few close friends in particular, I guess they endured because they worked at it, they work at staying in my life, and goodness knows I don’t make it easy for them, but somehow they manage to stay close and in touch without engulfing me and making me want to run away. Maybe they are sensitive to my avoidant attachment ways, maybe they see something in me that makes the effort worthwhile (not sure I can really believe that though), whatever the reasons, they are a very important part of my life and I am grateful for them each and every day.
My therapist talks of integration (a lot!) and mostly it scares me, but perhaps the key to getting better, to holding the memories is to live just one life, one narrative, and to hold on to those that can help me to remember.
The starfish is well adapted for sure, but maybe there is another way………