Interview (gulp)

I have a job interview, next week!

Been looking for a while, not been that happy at work, love my job, love the peeps I work with, many of them are like family. It’s just that there is lots of ‘stuff round the edges’ that has been getting me down.

Aside from the obvious anxiety – interviews are stressful, that’s just how it is, I feel a bit unsettled. Yes I agreed with my therapist and others that I needed to find something new, but I was really only talking theory, but this actually might be it, it would be great, fun to do and really playing to my strengths and my passion.

But – this is the point where I have to figure out if I want it, because otherwise I will sabotage myself by worrying about change and new things…..and then what if I decide I do want it, and don’t get it, what then……

I tell people I’m pragmatic about these things, that I know my strengths, and if a company doesn’t want me then that’s ok, I’m just not what they want, it’s not about me, but this one is different, I could do this, and do it well, I would fit, but could I bear the rejection if they choose someone else?

And then there are the people that know, unusually for me, I’ve told a fair few people about this job, that’s one of the ways I know it’s right for me, I’m excited by it, but then if I don’t get it, they will all know, my narcissistic side, is worried about the humiliation of failure…..

It seems a leap of faith is required….

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5 thoughts on “Interview (gulp)

  1. I completely understand. I’m in the midst of job hunting after I kind of abruptly quit my last job. Long story on that one.

    Job hunting is so stressful in itself. I can remember sitting in front of the computer, my mouse hovering over the submit button. “What if I don’t get the interview?” “What if I take the job, and I find out it isn’t right for me?” “Maybe I’m not actually well qualified for this job and I’m getting in over my head…”

    Then, there’s the waiting. Mostly, I’m fairly patient. But the anxiety of the job search can become unbearable. I’m constantly sitting on the edge of my seat checking my email, voicemail, texts, everything. Every time the phone rings, I jump for it, and I end up disappointed.

    Then, the rejection. I’ve never really handled rejection very well. I recently had a company lead me on for two weeks. It took me that long to realize that the HR manager was just a person who couldn’t break bad news. It was enough to really knock me down a couple of pegs. Why not me? I have great credentials, current licenses, recent training, and glowing recommendations. Or so I thought… I guess.

    But, I’ll tell you this. I give better advice to others that I can manage for myself sometimes. My husband has come to the same point in his current employment that you’re at. It has just kind of reached the end of its life cycle, and it’s time to start anew. He’s on the hunt as well, and it always takes a toll on his mental health.

    Last night, we were in the car and I said, “Jobs are kind of like relationships. There will likely be many. Some you will be madly in love with, and some will feel vaguely platonic. And of course, there will be the ones you come to despise, but feel you have to stay under obligation. None are perfect. And there will be a lot of courting and rejection until you find the right fit. It’s out there. Don’t get discouraged.”

    You’ll do great. And rejection isn’t meant to be a personal thing, and certainly not a failure. I try to think of it like, “They had their reasons. Maybe they knew something I didn’t, and it really just wasn’t for me.”

    Good luck! I’m crossing my fingers for you!

  2. risinghawk says:

    Good luck! I believe in you 😉 Peace . . .

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