Spiral of doom!

It just gets worse, descending into a ‘spiral of doom’ with feelings flying everywhere, honestly it’s exhausting, all of it, work, home, friends, everything……I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be exhausting, but nonetheless, it is and I’ve had enough.

This may turn into a rant or a pointless wittering on and on, I could go either way right now, I think wittering on is preferable, ranting requires more energy than I have right now.

I think perhaps I am frustrated, there feels like so much that needs to change, that needs fixing, practical things as well as my ‘crazy stuff’, and I don’t feel like I have the energy right now, so much too that I just don’t know, which I have been assured is ‘OK’ but somehow it just doesn’t feel OK, I guess because it feels out of my control, and I do so like to be in control.

And so to today, with the spiral of doom whirling round and round, filled with feelings I can’t name, problems I can’t solve and and endless supply of voices reminding me that I will fail and get it wrong and on and on and on, spirally, spirally me……..


The void

The void


5 thoughts on “Spiral of doom!

  1. Ben Naga says:

    I wonder what would happen if you just let go and allow yourself to rest for a while. Not what you fear might happen, but what what actually *does* happen. I suppose there is only one way to find out …

  2. Persephone says:

    I like to be in control too, but one by one I have had to let things drop, some of them voluntarily, some of them because I just couldn’t get out of bed for months. I agree with Ben Naga, let go and let yourself rest for a while. That is what I have been learning to do (and still am learning!) Take care of yourself.

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