A week and a bit off work and things change, I’m back at work now and completely wrapped up in what must be done, and there is a lot that must be done at the moment. No more quiet summers – if they ever were, but that’s not the point I guess. Work seems to be another way to avoid my feelings, I’ve known that for some time, work is an addiction for me, and a very effective, and socially acceptable one.
My therapist mentioned it yesterday, that things had been different when I wasn’t at work, we talked about some difficult stuff, that I usually manage to talk around rather than about. He seemed to suggest in that way he has of not actually suggesting anything, that maybe we should think about things other than work, some more of the difficult things.
He said at the start (nearly two years ago) that we need to get to the ‘painful stuff’ and I knew then he was right, why else would I go to therapy, but still I kinda hoped we could just touch on it not go all the way into it, I only wanted a sticking plaster, just to be able to manage a bit better.
Not sure where this is going today, just aware that things are shifting.