I really hate how I feel today, it’s so b****y irrational and unhelpful. I feel like a cornered tiger, a very angry and frightened tiger. Last week I was overwhelmed thinking about all I missed out on, and today I just want to be left alone.
I feel like it’s better that way, I’ve always been on my own, even in those times when I was surrounded by people. I mean, aren’t we all alone, when it comes to it, just alone?
People leave, they have their own lives, their own worries, no one is really there for you, not really, not unless it suits their own ends.
Right now feeling like I should just handle all this on my own, it feels like some kind of trick that there might be people out there willing to help, some kind of trap, the moment you trust it, maybe allow yourself to believe that it’s possible to get support, it will flip and you will be alone again and in worse shape than before.
The world is not a safe place, it’s just not!