The weather has taken a turn for the better, and now dresses and sandals are the order of the day. This is so much easier for me, I have always struggled with being a ‘proper girl’ so throwing on a dress without having to think to much helps. Of course, I still don’t seem to quite manage the whole girl thing – but dresses go some way to making it look like I can do that stuff, perhaps one day I’ll find that part of me that can do the girl thing.
My emotions are all over the place again this week, but I am sleeping better, and the crazy dreams seem to disturb me less, though last nights was particularly messed up, it’s like my brain is working harder to freak me out now I’m getting accustomed to frightening dreams.
I want to be normal, to sit in the sun, to feel safe and happy, it’s only occasionally I get to glimpse that, and really all it does is remind me what I am missing when my crazy takes over.
And yes, I do know that I am not mad, it just feels like it sometimes……