Wobbly day

Having a wobbly day today, I get these now and then, I don’t mean the normal wobbles of feeling rubbish, but today I feel very very anxious, about what I am not very sure, which doesn’t help.
It’s been a busy time, maybe this is just a reaction born out of tiredness, sleep is elusive at the moment, so many thoughts in my head, mostly thoughts I don’t want.
So many things I would rather were not true, I know somewhere inside they are true, but the biggest part of me wishes they were not real.
Honestly, I’m not this crazy, I’m really not, I hold down a responsible job, I couldn’t do that if I was crazy, right?
Feeling exhausted and worn out today. I really want to curl up in bed and cry, and I never cry (except at the occasional funeral).
If this is what ‘better’ feels like, well then, I don’t want it.


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