I spend much of my time travelling and in hotels. It was while I was in on last week that I began to think about transitional spaces. I have always been able to sleep anywhere, that is when I do sleep, and it is something I know others envy. But the truth is I am at my most comfortable when I am doing something. Now don’t get me wrong, I hate travelling, I hate going out, but once I am on the road, I feel reasonably comfortable. Perhaps because I am then in control, and responsible only for myself, maybe because in those transitional spaces I find moments of calm, moments of sanctuary in a busy world.
I spend a great deal of time outside hotels, smoking and watching the world walk by. I guess my comfort zone is really in observing others, on the periphery, no one really talks to you, and if they do, there is no real investment, superficial sharing, a passing comment on the cold, the rain, and the rolled eyes of ‘here we are in yet another hotel, I wish I was at home’….. It’s an easy interaction and requires no real investment of energy – people do talk to me, I guess I have one of ‘those’ faces.
As I walked the corridors of the hotel last week, I thought about the transitional nature of emotions. The nature of depression and anxiety, I guess is that the emotions feel powerful, all consuming and endless, but like the night in a hotel, the trip away, they do pass, does knowing that make it easier? I am not sure, I struggle to know that when I am feeling those things.
For now I will continue watching, observing others as they travel, standing quietly on the periphery in my temporary sanctuary form the busy world.
And so to another week, another hotel in another city beckons……..