My shattered self

Shattered, splintered into a thousand pieces. How does one even begin to heal a soul so broken? Is wholeness even possible? Reintegration of all those parts split off, separated and hidden.

The pain is tangible and ever present, but I cope, though sometimes it is almost impossible. To make sense of it all is hard, others talk of a black hole, a vortex, and I get that, a few months ago that is how it felt, being sucked down into darkness, but now it is bright, blindingly so, sharp and crunchy, like walking on broken glass in bright sunshine.

Is this part of healing? At least there was some peace in the deep darkness, now it’s edgy and intense in a whole different way. It’s like the parts of me are emerging from a deep dark hole and the light is painful and so very bright.

Moving from darkness to light – a recurring metaphor of positivity across cultures and religions, perhaps the darkness is better, at least the deep black silence was – in some intangible way – soothing.

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